falling to pieces

what do you do when some you care about shuts you out of their the life with no explanation? someone who you thought would never treat you with such coldness and disinterest?

all i can say is it hurts. a lot.

i'm really tired of choosing the wrong people or the wrong people choosing me. how do i change that? i'm tired of falling for the guy who is unavailable - mentally and emotionally or not being even remotely interested in the person who has fallen for me. such an age old cliche of always wanting what you can't have and never wanting what is there for the taking. i hate hurting people and getting hurt, not like anyone really does though. i need to learn to not jump into things headfirst but it is really hard for me not to be passionate about love. ugh.

i hope 2010 brings me a healthy, happy relationship. i'm gonna try to figure out how i can manifest such a thing. in the meantime, i hope my heart bounces back quickly.